Bon Voyage To Summer

It’s Labor Day Once Again -
Did you know that this national legal holiday is over 100 hundred years old? Throughout this time period, Labor Day has evolved from a labor union celebration to the “final fling of summer” party.

In the late 1800’s, a parade began in New York to honor the working class. Today, employed or unemployed, Spartan’s from all over New England will be celebrating from Natick, and as far north as Maine. It wil be a day of eating, drinking, volleyball, bad singing, as well as just being a “merry” Spartan.

Labor day reminds us that the cool days of fall are fast approaching. In just 6 short days the NFL season opens up. Back to long pants, sweaters, and spending your retirement money on home heating bills as well as gambling away each week on your favorite NFL team.

Due to the chilly temps, I can’t say it’s this Spartan’s favorite time of year, but there’s not much that I can do except for move to Aruba.

SEASON OVER - OFF TO FOOTBALL

ALTHOUGH A GALANT EFFORT WAS MADE BY THE SPARTAN'S, THEY WERE KNOCKED OUT OF THE PLAYOFF ROSTER, WHICH BRINGS END END TO YET ANOTHER SPARTAN SEASON.

CHINESE COACH MORRY POSITIONED HER GALS IN THE FIELD TO FEND OFF THOSE NASTY SHARK FLIES - BUT ALAS, SOME WENT WAY TO DEEP. THERE WERE GREAT DOUBLE PLAYS - SINGLE PLAYS - THROUGHOUT THE GAME YOU COULD HEAR HOLLY'S GLOVE GETTING WHACKED BY THROWS FROM THE INFIELD. THE SPARTAN'S DID A GREAT JOB, AND IT WAS A GREAT GAME TO WATCH.

THE DOCTOR SENDS REGRETS TO THE MESS IN THE GAME BOOK FOR THE FIRST FEW INNINGS - SOMEDAY, I SHALL LEARN TO KEEP A BOOK (after all these years, how novel!)

AND NOW IT'S OFF TO FOOTBALL!
THE OFFICIAL POOL OF THE SPARTAN'S, HOSTED ONCE AGAIN BY MS PEVERADA. SIGN UP TODAY - IT'S THE BEST FUN FOR FIVE BUCKS A WEEK YOU'LL EVER HAVE

DON'T FORGET - PATRIOTS LAST PRE-SEASON GAME IS 8/22 - FRIDAY NIGHT - AND THEN IT'S OFF TO REGULAR GAMES ON SEPTEMBER 7TH!

GREAT SEASON SPARTAN'S - YOU DON'T NEED A TROPHY TO KNOW YOU'RE THE BEST!

HOW TO FIND THE BATHROOM IN A FOREIGN LAND

THERE YOU ARE, IN FRANCE, JAPAN, MAYBE EVEN SPAIN, AND YOU NEED TO PERFORM BODILY FUNCTIONS. THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU DON'T SPEAK THE LANGUAGE (no speakalie da ingalee as they say in local food stores when you ask a question like "do these oranges have seeds in them?)

WELL FOSSIL SPARTAN'S, IN CASE YOU'RE RUNNING LOW ON DEPENDS AND HAVE SEVERAL DAYS LEFT TO YOUR VACATION, I AM LISTING A FEW HANDY PHRASES JUST FOR YOU WHEN "MOTHER NATURE CALLS" AND THERE ARE NO DENSE BUSHES OR WOODS HANDY:

IF YOU ARE IN SPAIN - DONDE ESTA EL BANO?

IF YOU ARE IN FRANCE (WITH JEAN PAUL) - OU SONT LES TOILETTES?

IF YOU ARE IN JAPAN - TOIRE WA DOKO DESU KA?

HOW ABOUT SWAHILI? - CHOO KIKO WAPI?

BETTER YET, HOW ABOUT KLINGON? - NUGDAG OH PUCHPA E?

THERE YOU HAVE IT SPARTAN'S - NEXT TIME YOU GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO RIGHT NOW - YOU'RE ALL SET! (and no poison ivy on your private parts)

PROTECTIVE WEAR FOR SPORTS

SORRY, BUT YOU ALL KNEW THE TOPIC WOULD COME UP AT SOME POINT IN TIME

YES, THIS IS ABOUT ATHLETIC PROTECTIVE WEAR - BETTER KNOWN AS A "CUP"

WHY IS IT THAT THIS CRAFTY LITTLE DEVICE WAS MADE TO PROTECT MEN FROM INJURING THEIR YOU KNOW WHATS? WHAT THIS SPARTAN WANTS TO KNOW IS WHY IS THERE NO PROTECTIVE WEAR FOR WOMEN?

I UNDERSTAND THAT WE DON'T HAVE "THOSE PARTS" THAT STICK OUT - HOWEVER.....
WHY ISN'T THERE A BIKE RIDING DEVICE FOR YOUNG GIRLS THAT RIDE A BOYS BIKE? CAN YOU HONESTLY TELL ME THAT IN ALL OF YOUR TIME ON THIS PLANET THAT YOU'VE NEVER TAKEN A SPILL ON THE BAR AND TAKEN A DIRECT HIT?

WHAT ABOUT SOME TYPE OF CHEST PROTECTOR? I'M NOT SAYING THAT WE'D NEED ARMOUR LIKE THE TURTLE WEARS, MERELY SOME PADDING TO PROTECT THE TWINS. THINK ABOUT IT - A SOLID LINE DRIVE THAT YOU MISS, OR A HIGH FLY BALL THAT YOU MISS AND SMACK! RIGHT IN THE CHEST (LINDA IS SMART - SHE CATCHES FLY BALLS WITH HER EYE) NOW CONSIDER THIS "HIT" IF YOU WILL WITH A BIT OF PMS GOING ON (WELL, OK, REMEMBER WHAT IT WOULD HAVE FELT LIKE?)

ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT MUCH LIKE ALL THE DRUGS ON THE MARKET FOR MALE ENHANCEMENT, THE GIRLY BODY HAS BEEN LEFT UNPROTECTED FOREVER.

MAYBE AFTER MY ATHLETIC PRODUCT IS COMPLETE, I'LL WORK ON A LINE OF GIRLY PROTECTION!

PLAYOFF UPDATE - BEAT THOSE "M-F'ERS GIRLS"

THE SOFTBALL GODS KEPT AN EYE ON THEIR DARLING SPARTAN'S LAST THURSDAY EVENING, PROTECTING THEM FROM EVIL ONCE AGAIN AS THE SHARKS SUFFERED THE BLOW OF ALL BLOWS - LOSING TO THE SPARTAN'S.

IT'S NOT THAT IT WAS A BLOW OUT GAME - NO MERCY RULE - NO CANS OF WHOOP ASS; RATHER, THE SIMPLE FACT THAT THE LENTRO'S LADIES WON BY A MERE POINT. HOW GOOD IS THAT? IT'S AS GOOD AS IT GETS.

ANGRY SWARMS OF SHARKS HAVE BEEN CITED ALL AROUND THE METRO WEST AREA, CONSUMING PIZZA AND BEER, AS WELL AS THE GAME BALL FROM LAST THURSDAY EVENINGS GAME. IT IS ALSO RUMORED THAT THE PITCHER - CATHY, CARRIE (GOT ANY PIGS BLOOD IN A BUCKET?) CASEY - WHAT EVER HER NAME IS HAS VISITED SEVERAL NURSING HOMES AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF DEFENSELESS SENIOR CITIZENS TO TAKE OUT HER FRUSTRATIONS. WAA WAA WAA

WHAT WILL BE THE OUTCOME OF THIS WEEKS UPCOMING GAME?
FROM MY PERSPECTIVE - I'D LOVE TO SEE THE LENTRO'S LADIES WIN NOT BECAUSE OF GREED, OR TO BE ABLE TO SHOUT "THE SPARTAN'S BEAT THOSE EVIL M-EFFERS, NOT AT ALL. IT'S MORE TO PROVE TO THESE YOUNGSTERS THAT IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT WINNING. IT'S ABOUT BEING THE BEST THAT YOU CAN AND BEING ABLE TO TAKE COMFORT IN THE FACT THAT YOU TRIED YOUR VERY BEST AND THAT YOU WORKED AS A TEAM. IT'S NOT ABOUT THE "RINGERS" THAT YOU BROUGHT IN WHO, EVEN WHEN YOU MULTIPLY THEIR AGE BY 2, YOU STILL HAVEN'T REACHED SPARTAN AGE. LIKE FINE WINE, THE VINTAGE OF THE SPARTAN'S CANNOT BE MATCHED. AND THE OLDER THEY GET, THE BETTER THEY BECOME.

MUCH LIKE THE DAYS OF OLD WHEN THE EVIL BLAZERS TERRORIZED THE LEAGUE - WERE THERE SOME GREAT PLAYERS ON THIS TEAM? YES THERE WERE - BUT THE TALENT ON THE FIELD TRAVELED WITH A GIANT CLOUD OVER HEAD WITH THEIR AWFUL ATTITUDES ALONG WITH THEIR LACK OF SPORTSMANSHIP. FAIL TO GET ON BASE - YOU'RE OUTTA THE GAME - POOF. AND WHERE ARE THE BLAZERS NOW? WHO CARES.....

DO STOP BY AT 6:45 P.M. TUESDAY NIGHT AS EVIL SUE TAKES CONTROL OF THE MOUND WEARING HER LUCKY SOX, THE FAITHFUL FANS WILL BE CHEERING FROM THE BLEACHERS AS COACH WALTERS PUTS HER STRATEGY ON THE FIELD INTO MOTION WHILE THEIR BATS CAUSE A COMMOTION!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, THE PRIDE AND THE SPIRIT OF THE SPARTAN FAMILY WILL CARRY ON BECAUSE....

WIN OR LOSE - THEY WILL DRINK THE BOOZE!